The Misanthrope's Guide to Star Tours: The Adventure Continues

Part of the Misanthrope's Guide to Disney World, a series of posts on surviving the theme parks for people who hate people. The main guide page can be found here, with links to previous posts.

While rides based on movies can be found in every Disney park, Hollywood Studios is the theme park dedicated to cinema in all its forms. Attractions themed to classic films and television shows, and in the case of the American Idol Experience, not so classic tv shows, form many of the key experiences. While Disney only recently purchased George Lucas's legacy of films, Hollywood Studios has long hosted one of the original Star Wars rides.

 Star Tours was a state of the art simulator ride when it opened in the 80s, featuring technology previously used to train fighter pilots. It remained a popular thrill ride for years, but the experience felt increasingly dated. Promised film updates never materialized, and simulators became so common that they could be found in shopping malls. Even the release of the Star Wars prequels did not inspire an attraction update, though that may have saved the world from Jar Jar Binks appearing alongside Mickey Mouse.

Vinylmation Trading Dash 2: 5th Anniversary Edition

Five years ago, Disney launched the Vinylmation line of collectibles. Inspired by urban vinyl and art toys, the series was created to replicate the success of Disney pin trading. The official launch was at Festival of the Masters, a yearly art exhibition that takes over Downtown Disney.

To mark the 5 year anniversary, Disney released multiple new Vinylmations, including event exclusives, and had a signing with several of the artists behind the vinyls. I was there to cover the new releases and events, so I decided to mark the anniversary in my own way. Yesterday was the second attempt at the Vinylmation Trading Dash, and it was both a success and a failure.

40 Pounds to Disneyland: The Vinylmation Trading Dash

 

The continuing tales of one chunky Disney fan's personal quest to lose 80 pounds and visit Disneyland, in that order.  

See my first 80 Pounds to Disneyland post for all the details.

Previous Post: 41 Pounds to Disneyland: It Could Have Been Worse

There are days where you wake up and have an idea so amazing, you know you have to try it immediately. Something that achieves multiple goals at once, and gives you an excuse to go to Disney World. I woke up this particular morning envisioning a way to exercise, get coverage for my writing on Vinylmation World, and hopefully wear myself out enough to sleep better than I had in days.

I was going to try something new, the Vinylmation Trading Dash. For those who don't understand the strange world of Vinylmation, the plastic figures are often sold in blind boxes, making it mostly random chance what figure you receive. To alleviate some of this randomness, Disney has provided one to two locations at each theme park where you can trade for either one of a few visible figures, or take a couple chances trading from a mystery box. This mostly results in receiving Vinylmation being clearanced at the outlet stores, but occasionally there's a hidden gem or two inside.

The Misanthrope's Guide to Disney World: The Best Parks for Avoiding People

Part of the Misanthrope's Guide to Disney World, a series of posts on surviving the theme parks for people who hate people. The guide page can be found here.

All Disney World theme parks are not created equal. They were all formed under different circumstances, shaped with different goals, and have received varying levels of care and neglect over the years. Most rankings of the four theme parks focus on aspects like the amount of rides offered, the number of attractions that qualify as "E-Tickets" (world famous rides, essentially), or just generally how busy you can remain.

These qualifications are generally useless for my purposes. From a misanthrope's point of view, more attractions designed to attract the masses is a negative. For our purposes, the most important factor is how easy is it to enjoy and explore a theme park while also being able to escape from other people. When the tourists, tour groups, and terrors grow to strong, there has to be somewhere to find peace, quiet, and harmony. At the very least, whatever passes for peace, quiet, and harmony in Disney World. Here are the theme parks ranked from best to worst for avoiding people.

Patrick Warburton Secretly Rules Disney World

Patrick Warburton is everywhere. This is a natural law of our universe. The amazingly talented and intimidatingly tall actor shows up in more movies and television shows than seems humanly possible. There's a good chance that, somewhere, there's footage of Warburton making a cameo appearance in a movie produced before he was born.

Disney World is not exempt from this universal truth. Patrick Warburton can be found all over the resort, in different times, places, and guises. In the past, he is Incan lunkhead Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. Kronk hosts a painting tutorial at Hollywood Studio's Magic of Disney Animation.