Monday, August 19, 2013

Life with Theme Park Mice: The Plagues

Disney World draws people from all over the globe, every one of the 50 states, and quite possibly disguised extraterrestrial lifeforms. This mass of humanity brings together a wide array of languages and cultures to one place in a mostly harmonious fashion. All these people also happen to bring every virus and bacteria floating around their places of origin. It's like Epcot everywhere, except you're sampling the germs of the world rather than international boozes.

Some of the excessively optimistic tourists think they can avoid the plagues. They wash their hands constantly, carry hand sanitizer like a talisman against evil, and generally refuse to touch anything. Of course, eventually someone will cough in their vicinity, or they will have to reach for a railing to avoid falling.

Then, all those efforts are for nothing. Those people that are sick probably don't even realize it yet. Those that do realize probably don't care about infecting others. They handle every bit of the queues, touching props and jangling chains marking out the lines. They breathe the same air as you, standing much too close while shouting to people mere feet away. You will be exposed to the germs at some point, and eventually your immune system will break.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Patrick Warburton Secretly Rules Disney World

Patrick Warburton is everywhere. This is a natural law of our universe. The amazingly talented and intimidatingly tall actor shows up in more movies and television shows than seems humanly possible. There's a good chance that, somewhere, there's footage of Warburton making a cameo appearance in a movie produced before he was born.

Disney World is not exempt from this universal truth. Patrick Warburton can be found all over the resort, in different times, places, and guises. In the past, he is Incan lunkhead Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. Kronk hosts a painting tutorial at Hollywood Studio's Magic of Disney Animation.