Wednesday, February 27, 2013

55 Pounds to Disneyland: An Apology to the Manatees


The continuing tales of one chunky Disney fan's personal quest to lose 80 pounds and visit Disneyland, in that order.  
See my first 80 Pounds to Disneyland post for all the details.

In general, I consider myself a relatively enlightened person.  I try not to judge others, consider all sides of issues equally, and above all not hold prejudices.  Thus, I find it horrifying that I have perpetuated a stereotype.  I have compared my excessive poundage to that of an innocent victim that deserves no such shame.  The truth of the matter is: I was wrong, manatees are not fat, even if I am.


The worst part of spreading this lie is that I knew manatees were just naturally large creatures, with very minimal body fat.  For some reason, I continued to claim they are filled with blubber, like me, and not the relatively healthy, if slow moving, creatures they are.  These are beautiful animals, though I still don't know how they were once mistaken for mermaids.  I guess when you're a dehydrated, cabin feverish, rum besotted, scurvy ridden, possibly one eyed pirate, anything looks attractive compared to a fellow pirate.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

60 Pounds to Disneyland: 7 Reasons to Lose the Fat


The continuing tales of one chunky Disney fan's personal quest to lose 80 pounds and visit Disneyland, in that order.  
See my first 80 Pounds to Disneyland post for all the details.


I've been fat most of my life.  I could use kinder language about myself and deny the harsh truth, but it has been decades since I could be considered a proper weight and years since the last time I wasn't obese.  With all that time spent being a porker, then, I can say that I've found lots of reasons, both petty and important, for shedding those miserable pounds.

1.  I'd Like to Not Die Young- I'll start with the obvious.  Of course, there's no way to be certain in life.  Tomorrow I could find myself struck by lighting while being attacked by a vicious dachshund while falling overboard on it's a small world.  Not sure how I get struck by lightning while inside a building, but that's not important.  My point is that life is unpredictable.  However, I can predict that 150 pounds of extra weight is only going to shorten that unpredictable life and increase the chance that the words "heart attack" or "diabetes" will be part of my obituary.