Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Fear!

Lately, I've started to think seriously about Nicole and I's move to Florida. Up until now, it's been a dream-becoming-reality thing, constantly thinking up the next amazing thing about living in Florida. No more arctic winter! Disney World all the time! Actual things to do that don't involve craft festivals and corn!

Realization is now dawning that this is no longer a dream, but something that is seriously going to happen, possibly sooner than I think. For a kid who has lived his entire life (relatively) in one place, that is freaking scary. My mind is now hitting overdrive with the five million and one things and complications and potential problems and embarrassments and awkward social situations and ahhhHHHHHHHH!

Excuse me, I must go look at the cute kittens gamboling nearby. It's fluffy therapy.

Most of my concerns are relatively minor individually, like changing my cell phone service, changing my address, and changing my license plates. Combine all that change, though, and you do not get a dollar, unless it is a dollar of fear, and that is not accepted currency in these 50 states. Although it might be in Detroit, that place is really freakin' scary sometimes.

The reason I fear all of this especially is that I'm an extremely shy, socially awkward person. I don't like forced interactions with strange people, which is pretty much what we call "life." Not to mention that I have lived in Warsaw my entire life. I attended college somewhere even smaller than my hometown, and the only time I've lived somewhere populous was a 2 month internship in London. Thrusting myself into a new location, mostly locked there for at least a year is enough to send some shivers down my off-yellow spine. Wait, is off-yellow a color?

I know this is just a phase, and once I start actual planning I turn into a military general hellbent on storming a new theatre of war, casualties be damned! We will take them in the cabanas! We will take them in the theme parks! We will take them in the golf courses, and we will show them why they call Florida God's waiting room!

Until then, though, I just need to cope with the fear, and make sure it doesn't stop me from a new direction in life that I really must take.


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